


Why?

by BritanniaFork



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: M/M, Monologue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-05
Updated: 2014-04-05
Packaged: 2018-01-18 06:57:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1419008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BritanniaFork/pseuds/BritanniaFork
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Michael's post-dilemma thought train, which takes place between chapter 23 and 24.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Why?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BloodstainedBlonde](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodstainedBlonde/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Hunting Free](https://archiveofourown.org/works/984319) by [BloodstainedBlonde](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodstainedBlonde/pseuds/BloodstainedBlonde). 



> Michael's post-dilemma thought train, which takes place between chapter 23 and 24.

It's not fair, it's just not fair! Why did it have to be you? I still don't believe it. You couldn't have murdered three kids, you're nothing like that. Sure, I've known you for what, two weeks? But I can tell that you're innocent, I can just feel it. You gag at the thought of blood and…and wet bread, for Christ's sake, how could you ever commit a murder!

Oh God, just listen to me. Not fourteen days ago I left this building telling myself that you were going to die, that I was going to drag you back here with my own hands. Drag you back to the long, painful death that you damn well deserved. And now I've done just that, but it's all just wrong. I know you so well, as if I've known you my whole life, and I know- I just know that you have to be innocent. You just have to be, there's no other way! You couldn't have... But you said, you told me. You told me that you'd killed them all. Those words left your mouth and I remember them as clearly as I remember everything else that happened to the two of us over the past two weeks. You seemed so guilty, too; you never tried to run, you kept saying that you deserved all this, deserved the inevitable. But it all seemed so wrong. It still seems wrong.

Why the hell is this happening?

Why are you in that room, Gavin, why?

Why on earth did you come back, you idiot! You had your chance, you could have left. You did leave! You escaped- you and your assassin friend from the RR Brotherhood. You escaped and left me tied to a tree! You escaped! Why the hell did you come running back? How could you be so stupid Gavin, you knew the consequences of coming back as well as I did. You're an idiot, a complete idiot and I hate you. I hate the way you pronounce my name with your accent, I hate your stupid made up words, I hate the way that your hair sticks out like it can somehow magically defy gravity, I hate your carefree personality. But most of all, I hate the fact that I can't hate you, that everything you are and everything I am fit together so well that it hurts. I hate the fact that somewhere along the line I fell in love with you.

It hurts Gav, it really does. But what hurts even more is that you feel the same. You feel the same and no matter how much I wish I could change that, I can't...

I wish I'd never met you. I wish I'd just gone and bought food that morning, that I hadn't accepted that job from Geoff, that I hadn't agreed to hunt you down. If I'd known it would end up like this... If I'd known that I'd end up sat here, drinking myself stupid and listening to you- listening to you... Knowing that I did this, that in the end it's all my damn fault! I didn’t have to turn you in; I shouldn’t have had to turn you in. You’re dead innocent… ha, yeah; soon you will be ‘dead innocent’. And it’s my fault. Because I could tell- I could see it first-hand.

But you never tried to escape, you never begged for mercy like so many others before you did. Never cried repeatedly that you were innocent, that you were sorry- only said that you deserved what you were getting. And god dammit, Gavin, why?! Why didn’t you even try to tell me, try to prove your innocence. Why didn’t you tell me what happened, what you supposedly did? Why didn’t you tell me anything other than the fact that you deserved what you were being led to – what I was leading you to.

But still, in the end, it’s my fault. Because I’ve said it to myself so many times since we got back, since you were taken to that room and I walked myself into this room and began remembering everything that happened, beginning to end, countless times.

I could’ve let you go.

I didn’t have to turn you in. But I still did, and I’m sorry. It’s my fault, and I’m sorry Gavin.

I’m so sorry.


End file.
